Fighting in a Healthy Relationship

Fighting is completely normal and healthy in a relationship.  If your not willing to discuss your thoughts and emotions with each other then it just bubbles up inside and will eventually turn into a full blown nasty fight.  However, not ALL fighting is OK in a relationship.  In a healthy relationship you will be able to resolve the conflict in one sitting no matter how big or small the issue may be.  Don’t bring up the past, go to bed mad or even give each other the silent treatment.  It can be difficult to resolve a conflict so quickly.  Take the time to really listen to the other person, tell them how you may be feeling without yelling and try to understand where they are coming from.  Never walk away or shut down.


If you completely resolve your conflict then it should never be brought up again.  Learn how to move past the conflict and forgive.  If something was done 2 weeks ago that bothered you and you then decide to bring it up in a current fight you might be dealing with conflict in an unhealthy way.  This means that each fight needs to be truly worked through and settled before you move on.  If it is not dealt with and settled then you will just bury it inside until the next fight and the next fight after that.  It will eventually make you explode.  Never keep records of wrong that your partner has done in your relationship.  If your going to fight fair then deal with the present issue.  Never drag previous issues into it.

It’s important that you have good communication with each other.  Be respectful in the way you talk.  You need to have open and honest communication with each other.  Solve your problems as they come into the relationship.  Learn to pick your battles.  Never keep score of the others wrongful doing and NEVER hold grudges against them.

In the end, you both have a common goal.  Your goal is to fight fair and have a happy healthy relationship.


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